a convivial fellow (messijessie) wrote,
a convivial fellow
messijessie

  • Music:

as we lay among the heavens

so, after spending the past 3 weeks in new york, i'm home.

and everything feels so different. when i opened my front door, i was able to smell the newness that i guess never left my house. i went into my room and it felt strange. even sitting at my computer felt foreign--like i was reliving a memory, but it didn't fit completely.

i was sad to leave new york. genuinely sad. when i was there (for the most part) things were easy. i was removed from everything and everyone i knew and i think that made things easier somehow.

i went to sleep at a normal hour and woke up at a reasonable time, too. everything seemed more regulated--which is weird, because i was away from what was normal to me. maybe it's because my life is more chaotic than anything.

so, let's go over what happened:

* i got into american university and washington college.
* i got officially drunk (omg.)--and, let me tell you, i become a huge SLUT! :)
* i love sangria
* i drove alllll over new york. and, it made me feel so fucking cool.
* i, shockingly, didn't purchase one garment.
* i depleted the fuck out of my funds.
* i saw "a moon for the misbegotten" with kevin spacey and miles o'brien from ds9 and it still sucked.
* i love hanging out with my brother and his friends but i hate being patronized for my youth.
* i never got carded :)

okay. so, without rambling, let me expound.

first of all, because this is fresh in my mind, i had the WORST airport experience of my life. i got there at 6pm. boarded at 10:30pm. stayed on the for another 2 hours! and then flew home. i was livid. livid. but, what was funny was, i befriended this high-power wallstreet lawyer who was so disgusted by everything and everyone.

anyway, part of the reason i stayed so long was to see some of these schools. and, i did. we took a trip to maryland and saw goucher college and washington. goucher looked like a military school for boys but, it was still a really cool school. washington was the absolute antithesis of me. think of me. think of my antithesis. that's washington. everything in the town closes at 4 pm--everything being a christian bookstore and the antique mall. basically, it's not the place for me. but, i really hope it doesn't come down to that.

i can't believe i'm going away and i still don't know where to yet. that really freaks me out--but i'm not going to go into that.

what was really valuable about my time up north was that i realized a lot about myself. i wasn't lost in my routine and so i was able to really see myself. some of the shit that i realized scared me, but i think that it will ultimately help.

anyway, now that i am home, i have to get a serrrrrious job. i need to make a fuck of a lot before august.

man, as grateful as i am to be back in my bed, somethings really suck about coming home.

jessie nefertiti heyman
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